Props: Television (Optional), Remote Control, Comfortable Chair, Bowl, Glasses or Cups
One man is sitting down, facing the audience as if he's watching a sporting event on TV. He's eating from a bowl. Not important that the audience see it.
Mike: (from offstage) Hey, Brian, you in here?
Brian: Yeah, Mike. Right here. Should be on in a minute. (keeps watching TV)
A second man enters and sits next to him. He also looks at the "TV".
Mike: This is great. Your (favorite team) are goin' down this year. The (Favorite Team) are back on top of their division! (Use any rivals that fit your area - allow for applause)
Brian: Yeah, talk big, big man. Hope your waterboy has a jersey, cause there's no one left.
Mike: Hey, what's this? The game's not on this channel.
Brian: I know. The game's on channel 50 and I only have 25 channels.
Mike: 25 channels? Why am I here, then? I thought we were gonna watch the game!!
Brian: I'm sure we'll hear who won soon enough. Ooh, Wheel of Fortune's on.
Mike: Wheel of Fortune?? Brian, I have to see this game and you only have half the channels??
Brian: Well, it's a lot cheaper.
Mike can't believe what he's hearing.
Brian: Here, have some jello (gelatin). I made it myself. Tuiti-fruity. (yells at TV) Pick an "R"! an R!!
Mike, okay. Man, I can't believe I'm sitting here eating jello watching a game show when the game of the year's coming on. (begins eating from his bowl) Oh, man, what is this????
Brian: What?
Mike: This isn't jello! It's like red cottage cheese! It's disgusting!
Brian: Well, I ran out of time. The box said it needed at least half an hour to set, but I only had 15 minutes.
Mike: (after making faces in disgust) Well, this is disgusting. I can't eat it.
Brian: Okay, then. Sorry. (pause) Hey, want some tea? I put in extra sugar for you. I know you like sweet tea.
Mike: You used enough sugar, right? Didn't put half the right amount?
Brian: Nope, used a full cup, just like you like.
Mike: Okay, then….(sips, then gags again) What's wrong with this?
Brian: What?
Mike: It's as bad as the jello. It's like colored sugar water!! I've never tasted anything like it!!
Brian: Oh….well, I ran out of tea bags. The box said to use six. I only had three. I didn't think you'd notice.
Mike: Brian, how can I -not- notice? Look at this stuff. (make more faces in disgust) Brian, you have to understand that halfway just doesn't cut it. You don't start something, and then quit halfway through.
Brian: I see your point, but it's not easy. I'm busy, you know.
Mike: I know it's not easy, but you have to finish what you start.
Brian: Okay, fine. (pause - Mike suddenly realizes he smells something) You know what? I just remembered that I spilled a big bowl of nacho cheese and some clam chowder on that chair yesterday. Sorry.
Mike: You cleaned it up, right?
Brian: Half of it….
Mike storms out in anger, Brian follows apologizing…skit ends.
by Brian Bowman
