MISSIONS
(enters, crosses to podium, pointing at it, talking to imaginary control booth above audience rear)
These headphones here? (putting on headphones)
Is this microphone hot? (points to microphone)
Testing one, two, three, Testing one, two three, testing one....
Good? Okay. Ready when you are. (pause)
Missions ministry promo in three, two, one...
(announcer's deep smile voice, bounces as he speaks)
World Wide Missions Ministries presents... the opportunity of a life time. Yes, you have an opportunity to learn about the world, meet new people and, best of all, you can change the world.... (pulls back from the microphone, taps headphones)
Listen, can you cut the playback music to my headphones?
Yeah, I know they kind of want me to go with the Indian sitar thing, but can we try it without the music once? Good.
Missions ministry promo in three, two, one... (with announcer's deep smile voice)
World Wide Missions Ministries presents... the opportunity of a life time. Yes, you have an opportunity to learn about the world, meet new people and, best of all, you can change the world.... (pulls back from the microphone)
Listen, Frank, I... I may be the wrong guy for this promo.
Why? Well, I was just on a short term mission trip myself and...
...to Costa Rica...
...Yeah, I did. It was right on the Pacific coast....
Yeah, we got to swim every day.
...Well, that part was fun.... Well, it would have been if I
hadn't been stung by a sting ray...
Yeah, I was in excruciating pain for a full day, completely
disabled.
...No, that wasn't the reason I'm so down in missions...
Actually, I'm not down on missions at all. I came back with a new appreciation for missionaries... and all the yucky things they have to put up with!
Yeah... Well, a lot of the missions are right near the equator, like Costa Rica.
Yeah, unbelieveably hot. I woke up every morning in a pool of my own sweat. And I was awakened almost every night by cockroaches the size of a dog. But we were lucky, we were away from the jungle. We didn't have the poisonous snakes or the insects that leave welt on your skin the size of Ohio.
No, you're right, we didn't have the Christian persecution that many missions have either. Some of those guys risk their lives just talking about Jesus. Anyway, maybe you'd better find someone who doesn't know much about what goes on out there. Huh?
Yeah, I'm convinced that the only reason some of them are still alive is because of our prayers.... Actually, you know, in spite of the danger and the lousy living conditions, there are people standing in line just waiting to go. All they need is money and prayers.
Okay. Ready?
Missions ministry promo in three, two, one...
(announcer's deep smile voice, bounces as he speaks)
World Wide Missions Ministries presents... the opportunity of a life time. Yes, you have an opportunity to learn about the world, meet new people and, best of all, you can change the world! Did you know that you could fulfill the great commission, spreading the gospel of Jesus around the world without leaving the comfort of your own home? Yes, by giving your prayers and your dollars, you can reach people around the world for the Lord. Sign up today to pray for and support your missionary representatives to other nations. Make a difference in the world. (pause, backs away from microphone)
How did it come out?
Good. (snaps fingers) Oh, that reminds me, I haven't sent in this month's mission check. See ya.
